,,Oh, how bitter and sweet it is to feel’’

Ever heard how dramatically emotional you are? Ever shouted at yourself to calm down, your cheeks blushing of embarrassment. Oh, what shame to feel too much! 

But have you ever in the midst of all the hate you throw at yourself, have you ever wondered what makes your emotions so utterly beautiful?  

Don’t you love how your heart pounds, each second faster, when you are about to hug the father, you haven’ t seen in years? Don’ t you love the wind playing with your hair while you are swinging carelessly, the way you raise your head to the sky when a bird is flying by, the way your eyes sparkle with joy at the sight of a rainbow, such happy colors surrounded by dull, grey clouds. Don’ t you love talking to the stars, on sleepless nights. And how come, you have never adored the curiosity in a little child’s eye? Don’ t you love the unexpected smile of a stranger, on the other side of the store, remembering you that despite how small you are, you are not invisible in this big world.     

Have you ever stared out the open window and slowly faded away in your fantasies, have you ever secretly made a wish in the rain, catching raindrops with your hands? Have you ever let hope take you to Neverland, let it fill your heart with something so magical, you felt like flying in the air until you were dropped to the ground, until the promises lay like broken pieces of glass around you and the betrayal left you numb? And have you cried your heart out, in the darkness of your room, the loneliness sitting next to you, listening to your sobs like a true friend, not judging your swollen eyes and messy hair. Have you felt the release in your stomach, as each tear left a salty taste on your tongue, the anger vanishing and the sadness turning into dust? And then with each passing moment have you felt a hope, so light, rising in your chest, just for you to start again, to stand up against your fear?  

Do you now see how beautiful emotions can be? That you were not born to just exist but to live? Do you now understand the meaning of getting by? For real strengths do not lie in the way you hide, resist and fight your feelings behind a mask, but in the way you show and own your truth in life.  

Text von Asal Rahmany, 5c